Monday, August 23, 2010

Yes... it's one of those serious type of posts

i have no idea why i cant turn this picture so just turn your head...

Being a mother is an amazing thing. My two girls are my world. We have had ups and downs like any other family but bottom line I try to do what's best for Roxy and Bella. I will admit to anyone that my parenting might but be perfect but, let's face it who's is. Mistakes happen everyone makes them. Some big some small but mistakes happen everyday. Today was Roxy's 1st day of school. She had a million emotions going through her: she was happy,scared, sad, excited, shy (between me and you she was yelling on the inside) worried, and nervous all at the same time. I walked her into her classroom and she had one tear run down the side of her cheek. It took everything I had in me not to cry myself. I told her I loved her and not to cry and I would be there to pick her up when school gets out. As I walked to my car I realized I don't think I am as bad as a parent as I think. My daughter cried cause she does love me she will miss me but, she does know I will be back. She will meet friends and things will get easier but, I will always remember today and that look she gave me. This being kind of personal I will share some things about my life as a mother. Roxy and Bella have two different dads. Roxy's dad was apart of her life til she was 3 and then decided that wasn't what he wanted. As a mother I try to balance things. Bella's dad is in her life and sees her 2 to 4 times a week depending whats going on. I deal daily with trying to make Roxy feel included and Bella feeling like her daddy is her daddy. Its a hard struggle and balance. I bitch at times about how I wish this was this way or that was this way but in the end it is what it is. Being a co-parent is hard when one parent isn't there everyday... everyday to hear the screams but also to see the funny things as well, its hard bottom line being a parent is hard, nothing is ever perfect...The mom that has to work that wants to be home,the one that is trying to better themselves, or the parent who's out of work that needs to go to work,or the parent that is doing it all alone, the parent that has the happy home from the outside but inside is screaming to want out etc. Everyone has a tag or a label or something they wish they could change, maybe forever or maybe just at the moment.  I am a mother and I am there for my girls. People seem to think that its not normal to complain it is and it is hard but, it is what it is and it's not going to change. With that said my blog is about my life and my feelings and It's my life and my kids. I AM NOT PERFECT BUT I AM THERE MOM AND I WILL DO THINGS MY WAY... it may not be perfect but, I have two pretty amazing kids and they couldn't have gotten that way all on there own.

Side note: I love comments, i mean love them they make my day! They make me wanna do cartwheels and scream WOOOOOOO!!! But, comments that are going to be super personal or not kind I don't need so please when you comment remember it's not just me reading them! Thanks!

1 comment:

  1. AWWWW!!!!! She is so cute!!!! We go to the boys meet the teacher tonight and he starts pre-k Wed. I am happy for him but nervous too I hope it all goes well. Roxy I am SO thinking of her right now this was so touching to read I hope she is liking it and meeting new friends!!!! She is such a social butterfly I can not wait to hear how her school days are. Thinking of you all, Love 'ya!